Tuesday, April 12, 2005

The devil and the lawman

Boys... you never know what they will do. Consider these examples:

4-year-old Joel tells us the other night as we were driving to church: "The devil lives underground." Then he proceeds to inform us all of our roles in his scheme to take out the devil. We were all going to take shovels and dig way down deep until we reached him. Then Noah would hit the devil with a shovel. My job was to "cannonball" him and then "toot in his face." Emily would skewer his eyes with a knife. We passed on this story to friends over dinner at Cheeburger Cheeburger, and laughed till our eyes watered. Of course, part of that was due to our rewriting of the old VBS favorite, "Roll the Gospel Chariot Along." Our new verse sings: "And if the devil doesn't like it, we will toot in his face (insert flatulent sound)." Aren't we mature? I guess one is never really too old for bathroom humor.

Then yesterday, 9-year-old Noah asked me to stop at the nearby gas/convenience store on our way home from some errands. He had money burning a hole in his pocket and had seen something there he wanted to buy. I asked him what it was and he said "handcuffs," only $3.99. OK, toy handcuffs... I can handle that. And I was pretty sure he had cleared this with his dad already. (He had.) So I pulled up to the entrance of the store and let him run in (I could see him at all times). He was back in 2 minutes. He pulled the handcuffs out of his bag... they were covered in neon orange fun fur! I just about died. Turns out Brian hadn't actually seen the handcuffs. I can only imagine what the clerk was thinking. Noah did say she asked him what he was going to do with them. He has since removed all traces of fur from them and they look perfectly respectable. Of course, I can't help but wonder what else was displayed there, but don't know if I should go look or not. Mortification. But I suppose that's what kids are for sometimes.

7 comments:

Thumper said...

Heh...I almost shot chewed up M&Ms onto the computer. Then I realized if MY son came out with fur covered cuffs, it would have an entirely different meaning, and I don't wanna go there inside my own head...

And I love how Joel thinks. His plan is well thought out, and, if it would work, I'd dig!

K said...

I imagine your life, much like mine would be so incredibly BORING without the many misadventures of your children. What a blessing. How can anyone doubt that the Lord has a tremendous sense of humor?

Grace and Peace,
K

Carrie said...

I needed to laugh this morning - thanks!

Big Sis said...

OMG! I just couldn't let this one go by without a comment. Thanks for making my day! Tell Noah he should save those handcuffs for his wedding night. ;)

Sheilah said...

That's funny! Looks like a cool restaraunt...never seen one before!

PractiGal said...

Wow! You can buy just about anything at a convenience store these days, huh?! Water, candy bars, gum, fur-covered handcuffs! I wonder what else was on that display rack?! Thanks for the laugh!! These are the things I have to look forward to, having a little boy!!

mrsrum said...

That is hysterical. Sounds just like something my kid will grow up to do, too :) Thanks for the chuckle!

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